Men as Trees, Walking

As many of you know, Martyn Lloyd Jones' book Spiritual Depression is one of my favorite, if not my absolute favorite, Christian book. As I have been praying and thinking through my upcoming time in Hungary, I found myself returning to chapter 3 in this book, which examines the story of Jesus' healing of a blind man in Mark 8. However, this is no ordinary miracle (if such a thing can be said to exist)--Jesus' method in healing this particular man is very unique. Here is the story:

And they came to Bethsaida. And some people brought to Him a blind man and begged Him to touch him. And He took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village, and when He had spit on his eyes and laid His hands on him, He asked him, 'Do you see anything?' And he looked up and said, 'I see men, but they look like trees, walking.' Then Jesus laid His hands on his eyes again; and he opened his eyes, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly (Mark 8:22-25).

Now, before reading Spiritual Depression, I probably would've just skimmed over this story without giving much thought to it. However, according to Mr. Lloyd-Jones, this would be a foolish mistake (as, I'm sure, skimming over any Biblical story is foolish). Lloyd Jones writes, "There are many people like this man, there are many people who seem to be in the first stage through which this man passed in the process of healing...Do you understand his position? It is difficult to describe this man. You cannot say that he is blind any longer. You cannot say that he is still blind because he does see; and yet you hesitate to say that he can see because he sees men as trees, walking. What then--is he or is he not blind?"

Good question. As Lloyd-Jones continues, he further elaborates on this blind and yet not blind position as applied to us today: "Having seen the emptiness of the world, having seen something of the life lived by certain Christians, and having realized that Jesus Christ is the One Who has made the difference, they see somehow that He is a Savior...these people have seen that they cannot save themselves." This seems great, right? Well, kind of. Recognizing that we cannot save ourselves, that we need a Savior, does not necessarily entail that we know that Christ is the only Way to be saved and to have true happiness, and why this is the case.

I read this, and, probably as many of you did, thought to myself, "Okay, well great. But this is not my problem. I know that Christ is not only a Savior, but the Savior, and I know why it is He had to die for me, etc." But then Lloyd Jones went on to give another two ways that Christians can be in this blind and yet not blind position, and I was deeply convicted--"The second thing they do not see clearly is that their heart is not fully engaged. Though they are able to see many things, they do not really find their happiness in Christianity and in the Christian position. Somehow or another they are not moved by it, they do not find real joy in it...they still seem to find their joy, as far as they have any, somewhere else; their heart is not fully engaged."

Whoa. Talk about humbling. As I reeled with conviction, I was slightly hesitant to read on. But, of course, I did, and came across yet another staggering statement: "The third thing that is true about the people under discussion is that their will is divided. They are rebellious, they do not see why a man, because he calls himself a Christian, has got to do certain things and stop doing others. They think that is being narrow. Yet they denounce the old life and embrace the Christian life in general." Gosh.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering how this all relates to Hungary. Well, as I was thinking about Hungary, I realized that I think I have a distorted vision of Christ that has led to my having the less-than-fully-engaged heart and divided will that Martyn Lloyd Jones writes about. I'm not entirely sure how or to what extent I have this vision, but, if I knew that, I probably wouldn't be having this problem :) But, I believe that God intends to heal me of this distorted vision in my semester at Bible college :)

My prayer request, then, is for a full(er) view of God. I want to see Christ in all of His magnificent glory. And while I realize that this is a life-long process, I believe that, at least in some area, God intends to remove the shades from my eyes and give me a glimpse of His glory, unimpeded and uninhibited by my presuppositions or sins or flesh. And, along with that, I ask for a fully engaged heart and a will united with and under God's, that when "infinite joy is offered," I would not respond like "an ignorant child" content making "mud pies," but would leave everything, even my little pile of mud, for Christ (C.S. Lewis).