Ten Day Outreach :)

Hey all! As I think most of you know, I recently went on a ten-day outreach to Pecs, Hungary. It was INCREDIBLE! I wanted to give you all at least a small idea of the things I did and learned while there, so I'm going to post a paper I wrote about my trip here. Hope you enjoy! If you have any questions, feel free to comment and ask them and I will try to answer :)

Ten-day outreach. Wow. Where to even begin? God is so good to us. Throughout this whole trip, I was overwhelmed and blown away by the love and blessing God pours out on His children, particularly when they are obedient and submissive to Him.

For the ten-day outreach, I went to Pécs, Hungary. My team was lead by Wendy, Bolacs, Leah, Kim, and Andrew, and the rest of our team members were Sarah, Mana, Madi, Jamie, Cameron, Maksym, Matyas, and Ross. From a logistics standpoint, our schedule was pretty busy. We got into Pécs on Friday, October 21, and spent the day sharing testimonies, getting the schedule for the next week, and just generally preparing. Saturday we organized a youth night; Sunday we had church, then free time in the afternoon; Monday morning we visited an old-folks’ home and evening hosted a Bible study for the girls at the local university; Tuesday morning visited a different old-folks’ home and evening organized a prayer meeting; Wednesday morning did prison ministry and evening held church; Thursday morning organized and ran a homeless lunch, after which we had free time in the afternoon; Friday morning shared at a troubled high school and evening organized a youth night/concert; Saturday organized and ran a rummage sale, and then debriefed from the trip; and finally Sunday prepped for church and then headed home. In whatever free time we had, unless otherwise noted above, we made food, hung out with the church kids in the park, prepared for the events, etc.

I learned so much on this trip—God, help me remember all of it—that I will try to put into words. First of all, I don’t think I’ve ever realized the blessing of serving the LORD. I mean, I knew that the LORD does bless those that serve Him and is pleased by our faith in Him, but I have never experienced that more than I experienced on this trip. Though our team was so busy and so tired, God was not; He took our tiredness and busyness and turned it into His work. I feel like God ministered to me more than He did to anyone else we served, though obviously I’m in no position to judge that. There were all these times where we faced such spiritual attack; and yet He took all of those situations and turned them on their heads and used them for good (as in Genesis 50:20). God is triumphant—in our lives, in the church, over Satan. It is incredible, and I am so blessed to have seen His power and His victory at work over these last ten days. For example, when the girls on our team went to the prison on Wednesday, not only did every single woman we shared with cry (Leah had warned us that we shouldn’t expect any kind of response from them), but we also got to have a tour of the prison, seeing the cells and a little bit of how they run it. I feel like everything that we did was just us going to God and offering ourselves as a sacrifice for His work, and then just allowing Him to move as He pleased. The work of the LORD is so satisfying when it is done in His strength, on His timing, and by His power.

On that note, though, I also got just a small taste of what it is like to be in ministry. I know that it was so small relative to a lifetime of ministry, but seeing what Leah and Bolacs, and Kim and Andy to a certain extent, do on a daily basis was humbling and encouraging. It stoked the flame that God has started in my heart for missions, but reminded me that it is all of Him and His power. Just by what I saw over these ten days, I know that ministry of any kind cannot be done for long without the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit through prayer. What power a praying body of believers has! I’m still trying to figure out how exactly prayer works, but I know it both changes the heart of the pray-ers and allows God’s people to be involved with the plans that He is going to accomplish for them. To see the truth of Isaiah 55:10-11 in action was so awesome—“For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.” To be able to pray that God would accomplish His purposes and then see Him do so was incredible.

I think that is something God has been showing me this whole semester—how real He is. I know it should seem like an obvious thing, but I think because we are in the flesh, I often tend to believe generally that God is a real Being with a Spirit and with emotions and thoughts, etc, but never specifically believe that He is real in my life. Sure, He may have done all the miracles He did in the Bible—and I believe that He did them—but I subconsciously don’t believe that He does the same, if not more, for me. But He showed me that He does answer my prayers. He does come and give me the words to say when I have none. He does comfort me in my affliction and give me peace in anxiety. His Spirit is real and truly provides those things. It is not an accident, it is not coincidence that after I pray or spend time in the Word I have peace and a quiet heart. It is the work of the living God, and how often do I disregard it! But this week, God proved Himself to me in a mighty way. I said things that I could have never said on my own; I had strength not my own, peace not my own, joy not my own, love not my own, excitement not my own, encouragement not my own; for every good and perfect gift is from above. God is so real! I pray that I will continue to see His reality more and more in my life.

One of the last things that really stood out to me that God showed me on this trip was just that ‘[our] adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” Towards the second half of the trip, the team and I started to really notice spiritual attack, and it was a good but humbling reminder that not only do we need to pray for success and God’s power to do His work, but furthermore, we need to pray for His protection from this lion. But praise be to Him!—“He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world.”

Sorry it ends kind of abruptly... I didn't really know how to end it, and I was two words short of going over my word limit, so I just ended it :) But there it is!

Miss you all!

Rachel

Holy Spirit

Hey everyone! This is a paper I wrote on the Holy Spirit for a midterm in my Acts class. I thought I'd share my findings with everyone :) Enjoy!

The Bible is full of references to the Holy Spirit. From Genesis to Revelation, the Holy Spirit is prominent and important. But, for the believer, some of the most telling mentions of the Holy Spirit are found in the book of Acts. The Holy Spirit plays a huge role in the lives of individual believers and in the establishment and continuation of the church. He is a guarantee to believers of their salvation and a fulfillment of Jesus’ promise that He would send a Helper to them after He left them. By studying the book of Acts, we see the Holy Spirit filling believers to confirm their salvation, give them boldness in the face of persecution, and speak and work wonders through them for the edification and increase of the church.

Before we jump into studying the Holy Spirit, I want to begin where Luke began this account—at the ascension of Christ to heaven. Before He ascended, Jesus left the disciples with a final word: “You shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth” (Acts 1:8) Based on the Holy Spirit’s preeminence both in Jesus’ finals words and Luke’s text, it is clear that the Holy Spirit will be the sole driving force behind the acts of the Apostles that Luke records. The word used in the book of Acts to refer to the Holy Spirit is the Greek word πνεῦμα, or pneuma. It means “the third person of the triune God, the Holy Spirit, coequal, coeternal with the Father and the Son,” according to Blue Letter Bible.

The main way the Spirit evidences Himself in the believer’s life is through His filling the believer. Luke, it seems, is the only writer to use the phrase “filled with the Holy Spirit,” because it only occurs in his gospel and in the book of Acts. As I read through Acts, I found myself wondering, “What does it mean to be filled with the Holy Spirit? What are the evidences of being filled with the Holy Spirit or what kinds of things are possible for those filled with the Holy Spirit? How are we filled with the Holy Spirit? Is there a difference between being filled with the Holy Spirit and having the Holy Spirit come upon you?” The first time the phrase “filled with the Holy Spirit” appears in Acts is in chapter 2, verse 4: “And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.” In this verse, the Greek word translated “filled” is πίμπλημι, or pimplēmi, which means “to be fulfilled, to be filled.” This is an interesting play on words, for though they were filled with the Spirit, the filling of the Spirit was also a fulfillment of Jesus’ promise that He would send the Holy Spirit to them. Based on the context of this passage and the other passages in Acts that use this phrase, we can gather that being filled with the Holy Spirit can have any number of effects on the believer. In this circumstance, the filling of the Spirit was accompanied by speaking in tongues; in other circumstances, it is accompanied with boldness to face persecution (Acts 4:31), with the ability to powerfully wield the Scriptures (Acts 4:9), with the removal of scales from eyes (Acts 9:18-19), or, oppositely, with blindness (Acts 13:9). In other situations, individuals are said to be full of the Spirit: specifically, Stephen, who is twice described as being full of the Spirit; and Barnabas (Acts 6:5, 7:55; Acts 11:24). For these men, being full of the Spirit meant for one, surrender to martyrdom, and for the other, pouring out that Spirit in encouragement on other believers. Or, the Spirit is described in relation to men as coming and falling upon them, as is the case with the first Gentile believers, Cornelius and those in his household. Whatever the terminology may be, however, the common denominator is the Holy Spirit is now working in the lives of these believers (though I think He abides in all believers as a seal and guarantee from the moment of salvation; in these instances of being filled with the Spirit, His life in them becomes action in them). I think this is what is meant when Jesus talks in Acts 1:5 of being “baptized with the Holy Spirit.” The word used for baptized here is the Greek word is the word βαπτίζω, or baptizō. Three appropriate definitions are given: 1) to dip repeatedly, to immerse, to submerge (of vessels sunk) 2) to cleanse by dipping or submerging, to wash, to make clean with water, to wash one's self, bathe 3) to overwhelm. Baptism with the Spirit, then, represents an overwhelming of the self with the Spirit, or a submerging of the self into the Spirit. According to the example Shaun gave in class, the word is used of a cucumber that has been “baptized” in vinegar—it is permanently submerged, and ultimately permanently changed. Thus, we see that when someone is baptized in the Spirit, it is an eternal change.

In Acts, we see that the Holy Spirit fills people with or without the laying on of hands, and both before and after physical water baptism. Thus, it is evident that the Holy Spirit is not limited by human constraints, but moves in whatever way He pleases. In fact, this very thing is evidenced in His first appearance to the church in Acts in chapter 2: it is described as, “And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing might wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting” (Acts 2:2). This text can be evaluated in light of Jesus’ words in John 3:8 about the movement of the Spirit, where He said, “The wind blows where it wishes, but you cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit.” Thus, the Holy Spirit establishes from His arrival that He is going to do great things that men cannot and do not expect of Him according to God’s good pleasure. Another cool issue addressed by this passage that we see fulfilled in Acts is the fact that ‘you cannot tell where…it goes.” Nicodemus (to whom Jesus is speaking in John 3) and other Jews would never have expected the Spirit to fill Gentiles, and when it happened with Cornelius and his family in Acts 10, they were, indeed, shocked. But the Spirit goes where it pleases according to the will of the Father and Son.

The Holy Spirit’s work in the church is vital. As the guarantee of God’s Word, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is seen working in the church to send out believers (Acts 13:4), speak to and through believers (Acts 1:16, 2:4, 4:8, 13:2, 19:6, 21:11, 28:25) forbid believers from going to certain places (Acts 16:6), testify to the will of God (Acts 20:23), and appoint overseers of the Church (Acts 20:28). Luke emphasizes the importance of the Holy Spirit in the church in one particular story where the Holy Spirit is disrespected: that is, by Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5. When Ananias and Sapphira lie to the apostles about the money they gave to the church, they both fall dead because they had “lie[d] to the Holy Spirit” and “test[ed] the Spirit of the Lord” (Acts 5:3, 9). Unity was one of the key characteristics of the early church that made it so successful; and unity was upheld by the Holy Spirit. Thus, not only do Ananias and Sapphira lie to the Holy Spirit, but, furthermore, they hinder His work in the church to bring unity by their sin. It’s cool to me, however, that though the Holy Spirit is necessary for the proper functioning of the whole church body, it is first necessary that He be present and actively working in each believer. I think we can see that both in this story and in the means by which the Holy Spirit came. Ananias and Sapphira’s personal sin would have affected the whole body; the tongues of fire that came when the Spirit first filled the believers were over each individual believer’s head; it wasn’t one large tongue over the group, but each believer was personally filled—“one [tongue] sat on each of them” (Acts 2:4).

There have been so many things I have learned from studying about the Holy Spirit. First of all, I think I didn’t ever realize just how much the Holy Spirit does—I mean, I knew vaguely He is involved in a lot of the Christian walk, but to see the specifics in Acts was super awesome. As far as application, I would really like to be able to hear the voice of the Spirit and learn how to pray in the Spirit more consistently. There are times I am praying that I know the Spirit has put it on my heart to say those things, and it is always so sweet to see how the prayers that I pray by His power are the ones that I really evidently, clearly, quickly see Him answer. I think it’s kind of hard to know how to apply the things I’ve learned though, because I’ve seen that the Holy Spirit works and moves on His own initiative according to the will of God. He sometimes fills believers before physical baptism, sometimes after; sometimes He comes by the laying on of hands, sometimes He doesn’t; sometimes He brings tongues and prophecies when He fills people; other times He doesn’t. But I think the common theme in the attitude of those in whom He worked greatly was submission to His voice and spirit and humility to do His work. I think another point of application for me is to make sure that I don’t disregard the Holy Spirit. I am embarrassed to say it, but I oftentimes find myself not even really considering the Holy Spirit God! Even when I started writing this paper, I found myself referring to Him as an ‘it.’ Reading through Acts and seeing everything He did, and the reality of His work and presence in these believers, really reminded me that He is God and I should be in awe of the fact that as a believer, He is in me. I think another application, looking through the different effects the filling with the Spirit had on believers, is that any small right thing is something down by the power of the Spirit. For example, we see in Acts 4 that Peter is filled with the Spirit… to preach. It seems somewhat anticlimactic, but God’s purpose for the Spirit is for His name to be preached and glorified. Sometimes that means you sacrifice your life to death like Stephen; other times that means you sacrifice your life to death daily by putting the flesh to death. Sometimes it means healing people of blindness and other diseases; sometimes it means being bold in the face of persecution. As Romans 8:13 says, “For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live” (my emphasis added). Our job is not to determine how the Spirit will work in our lives; but whether or not we will submit to His voice when it has spoken and shown the way.

From Bud To Bloom :)

This morning in my time with the LORD, I read Ephesians 1:1-10 . As I read, I decided to slow down and break the Scripture up (as I’ve been learning to do in my Inductive Bible Study class, looking up the Greek of many of the verbs and terms) and see what the LORD would show me. A theme verse in my time here in Hungary has been Psalm 116:7, which says, “Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.” So when I came to verse 8 of Ephesians 1, I was drawn to what it said, that “He made [the riches of His grace] abound to us in all wisdom and prudence.” I looked up “abound” on Blue Letter Bible and its definition is as follows: “a thing which comes in abundance, or overflows unto one, something [which] falls to the lot of one in large measure.” But at the bottom of the page was a little box, which read, “‘Abounding’ is used of a flower going from a bud to full bloom.” :)

What a thought! That the riches of His grace abounding to us are what make us as humans bloom into the full beauty of what we were made to be. You can definitely say that a bud of a flower is still a flower; but it is not a flower in its final, most glorious state. Humans apart from Christ are flower buds—we are meant to go on to full bloom in the light of the knowledge of the glory of God, according to the riches of His grace. No one looks at a flower bud and says, “Wow, what a perfect flower bud!” No, we expect more of it, and are, in fact, disappointed if it never blooms. And yet the state of every soul upon entering the world is in this bud-like state.

It gives me such hope to think of humanity in this way. Salvation is for all—every flower is meant to bloom. We are all meant to come into the fullness of our glory under the radiance of His—just like a flower comes into the fullness of its glory under the radiance of the sun. We were created to bloom in the light of our Savior, the Son. This is why the Psalmist cries, “Cause Your face to shine on us!” God desires to bring us all into the glory of His grace—for us all to be blessed, holy, without blame, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, to use the words of this Ephesians text.

May we view our non-Christian friends—and the non-Christian world in general—in this way—as buds needing just a little light to burst forth into a beautiful bloom! And, remember—in Christ, we are just like this beautiful bloom :) We are predestined for blessing and holiness and blamelessness because of the redemption by His blood. Praise God for turning this little bud into a beautiful flower!

Do You Want To Be Healed?

I joked in my last blog entry that I’d been noticing a lot of similarities between myself and Biblical cripples lately—maybe that meant God was trying to tell me something? But, over the last week or so, I’ve realized my kidding was right on the square.

As many of you know (and as some of you are about to find out!), I’ve struggled with captivity to self-loathing my whole life. I am harshly critical of myself—my sin, my looks, my personality—pretty much everything about myself. This has affected me in every area of my life, diminishing my joy, extinguishing my love, and, for all intents and purposes, throttling the very life that Jesus died to bestow upon me.

Last Friday, I found myself becoming discouraged and depressed and falling prey again to the same lies that have plagued me my whole life—you’re not enough, you’re not enough, you’re not enough. Whatever that enough might have been, whether beautiful, smart, funny, loving, godly, passionate, it was always the same lie. “Sure, Christ may have died for you, but you’re still not enough. There’s no way He can take your life and make anything of it. You’re ugly, sinful, and an all around failure. Just give it up now. There’s no point in trying.”

As I felt myself on the verge of tears, in the midst of the lies screaming at me, I heard the still small voice of the Savior: Go outside and pour yourself out before Me. Now, let me tell you, the weather in Hungary has been pretty cold—this particular day, it had been storming on and off all day, and the weather was not especially inviting me to go outside and cry out to God.

But, against my natural self, I bundled up and walked around outside until I found a tree at whose base I knelt in the ground. In that moment, in the cold and dark and wet, I cried to my LORD for help, to be set free from this prison that had been my reality. And then, in the midst of my cries and confusion, I heard Him speak again: Do you want to be healed?

Startled, I found myself hesitating momentarily, but then stuttering, “…Yes.” Fifteen minutes passed, during which I walked around the castle, still praying, reading my Bible, meditating. And then, again, I heard the LORD ask, Do you want to be healed? This time, my answer came with more certainty: “Yes.” At this point, I was more calm and at peace, and was searching through the Scriptures when I came to two Psalms: Psalm 142 and Psalm 116. Psalm 142:7 reads, “Bring me out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name! The righteous will surround me, for you will deal bountifully with me.” As I prayed for the LORD to bring me out of prison, I happened to flip open to Psalm 116—“I love the LORD, because He has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because He inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call on Him as long as I live…Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.”

The stunning simplicity and beauty of these verses brought tears to my eyes then and now as I read it again. The LORD had heard my voice and was tenderly coaxing my soul into His glorious rest—Return, Rachel, to your rest; for I have dealt bountifully with you.

Getting up and walking back to the castle, the LORD asked me one final time: Do you want to be healed? Yes, LORD, I do. I want to be healed from my crippled life. The problem in my life is not a matter of seeing or hearing—I have seen and heard the gospel, seen and heard that Christ died for me and that because of that, I am saved. But, I am crippled. What I should be able to do, I cannot. The truth of the gospel, though seen and heard and understood, has not brought empowerment to my life because of the disbelief of my heart and the lies I have believed, particularly these ones.

Like the cripple in Mark 2, the cripple in Acts 3, and the cripple in John 5, I have not been able to walk in peace alongside my Savior in the freedom He set me free for.

But I am here to proclaim:

The LORD has set another captive free. The LORD has made this cripple walk.

Alms

"Now Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. And a man lame from birth was being carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple that is called the Beautiful Gate to ask alms of those entering the temple. Seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple he asked to receive alms. And Peter directed his gaze at him, as did John, and said, 'Look at us.' And he fixed his attention on them expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, 'I have no silver and gold but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!...And leaping up he stood and began to walk, and entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God'" [Acts 3:1-6, 8]

For my MW Acts class, I just finished reading this story/chapter in the book of Acts. As I read through again, combing it for details to answer some homework questions, I paused as I re-read these first six verses. A couple of things jumped out to me that I hadn't noticed the first time, parallels which I saw between myself and the cripple (maybe God is trying to tell me something? I've been noticing a lot of parallels between myself and the cripples of the Bible lately... haha). The phrase "from birth" had been small enough for me to skim right over in the past. This time, however, I was reminded of Ephesians 2:1-3, which reads, "And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience--among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind." We are by nature children of wrath--just like this man was lame from birth.

Once noticing this, I also noticed what this man who was lame from birth was doing--asking for alms. And how often did he do this? Daily. Clearly, this is not a long term solution. And yet, for this man and for us, without Christ's power in our lives, we have to live off the spare change of the world. We have to live off whatever we can get for ourselves--whatever goodness we can muster, whatever love we can create, whatever joy we can grasp at. And yet, none of it makes any difference. In the same way that alms could do nothing to heal this man's legs, our "moral" deeds will do nothing to purify our sinful souls. The problem isn't addressed by the correct solution.

And then along come Peter and John, who have and are willing to share the truth and the power that this man needs, and what is his (initial) response? "He fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them." Wow.

Though this man did not know that the men who were speaking with him could offer both a permanent and full solution to his problem (a la Hebrews 10:14)--that is, Jesus Christ--I wonder sometimes if I come to Christ and ask for alms. In fact, I know I do. I come to Him and I ask for Him to take away some one or other inconvenient sin, or something that makes me look bad to other people, without really wanting the full healing--not wanting to see my heart actually changed, or not wanting to actually have to go through the process of healing. I want a quick fix to my problem, but the problem with quick fixes is they are fleeting and don't really address my real need--to be purified from dead works to serve the living God (Hebrews 9:14). As long as I continue looking to Christ and asking for alms--for the superficial, temporary solution to my brokenness--I will never be healed, because I can not save myself. Thankfully, however, our LORD extends grace even when we come to Him asking for something less than His full sanctifying power working in us to form Him in us. Peter and John take after their Master when they say, "I have no silver or gold but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!"

I hope that next time I see brokenness in my life, I can come in faith to Christ and ask for His healing. But, at the least, I hope the next time I ask for alms and receive healing instead that I will respond with the same joy this man did, with "walking and leaping and praising God". "And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6). Praise God that whether or not we necessarily ask for it, He will bring our sanctification and perfection to completion in His power and grace through the suffering, death, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. :)

Awake My Soul

Awake, my soul--for you were meant to meet your Maker.
--Mumford and Sons

This morning, I went on my first run around the castle grounds and a little ways into the town of Vajta. I don't think there are words to express how breathtakingly, incredibly, awesomely beautiful it was. Last night, it was stormy and thundering and lightninging, but when my roommate Tiffany and our friend Karen and I went out this morning, the sun was just breaking through the clouds and the castle grounds were still and quiet. As we ran, the soft light reflected off the tiny dew drops on the grass and the trees, and the stones shifted beneath our feet. I was awe-struck--tears literally began to fall down my cheeks as I smiled and expressed for what must have been the 100th time since arriving here, "I can't BELIEVE we live in a CASTLE!!! What the HECK!"

The words that kept repeating in my head as I ran were, "Awake, my soul--for you were meant to meet your Maker." I think I just saw my Maker a little more clearly :)

Fear

So, I will confess: I had a minor breakdown yesterday. It all started around 5 pm, when I had been packing for five hours and, alas, all of my stuff was not fitting. Now, before you jump to any conclusions, I had a pile the height of Mt. Everest of stuff I had decided I didn't need to take--I really thought I had cut down as much as I could. And, in my exasperation and hopelessness, the thought crossed my mind, "Well, maybe I just can't bring my pillow." And that's when the tears started to flow. I barely had time to walk/run to my sister and force out, "I-think-I'm-having-a-minor-breakdown-I-need-a-hug" before it was just a geyser of tears.

By the time my sister had calmed me down a bit, I was starting to worry. If I was so upset over not taking a pillow, any other complication would definitely be more upsetting (though, in my pillow's defense, it is a great pillow). Thankfully, at this point, the Holy Spirit reminded me of Himself, and I forced myself to take a much needed Scripture break, and how the LORD came through!

I flipped open to Isaiah (my go-to for encouragement and reminders of who our God is) and started reading in Isaiah 43, ending in the early verses of Isaiah 45. In these wonderful chapters, God reminded me of four things that put to rest my fears and doubts and renewed my faith and trust in Him:

1. He is the LORD--"I am the LORD, your Holy One, the Creator of Israel, your King." [Is. 43:15]
2. He is my [only] Rock--"Fear not, nor be afraid; have I not told you from of old and declared it? And you are my witnesses! Is there a God besides me? There is no Rock; I know not any." [Isaiah 44:8]
3. He will not forget me--"Remember these things, O Jacob, and Israel, for you are My servant; I formed you; you are My servant; O Israel, you will not be forgotten by Me. I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud and your sins like a mist; return to Me, for I have redeemed you." [Isaiah 44:21-22]
4. He will go before me--"I will go before you and level the exalted places, I will break in pieces the doors of bronze and cut through the bars of iron, I will give you the treasure of darkness and the hoards in secret places, that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who call you by your name. For the sake of my servant Jacob, and Israel my chosen, I call you by your name, I name you, though you do not know me." [Isaiah 45:2-4]

These verses particularly stood out because they each calmed a fear that I had been feeling. The first passage in Isaiah 43 was a reminder of God's sovereign authority and hand in my life. The word LORD when it is used in all caps has a definition that is distinguished from the word Lord by its emphasis on God's sovereignty over all things (I believe--correct me if I'm wrong here). He is my LORD and King, and whatever difficulties (big or small) I come across in these next four months, He has guided me to and will, by His grace, guide me through.

The next passage caught my eye because it commanded me to "Fear not, nor be afraid." As I alluded to in my last post on the paralytic, the LORD does not give us commands that He Himself is not willing or able to carry out in us. Every command we are given by God is really an offer, an invitation to accept His grace and receive that which He demands of us and gives us at the same time. I also love how God in Scripture always backs up the commandments or statements He makes. Isn't it crazy how even His Scriptures are humble? I mean, He's the Sovereign LORD of the universe--that should be enough to have us trust His Word implicitly. But, He oftentimes humbles Himself to show us why He commands us to do things, because He loves us and knows how little faith we have. So, instead of just saying "Fear not, nor be afraid" and leaving it at that, He goes on to show how it is we are capable of doing that--because there are no other gods besides our God, and there are no other rocks besides our Rock. No matter how much is changing around us, no matter what storm is beating down on us, our God is a Rock upon which we can stand, firmly anchored to His love and His peace when all else fails.

The third passage was very encouraging to me because it spoke to perhaps the greatest fear I have in leaving for Hungary: being forgotten. I know it seems ridiculous, but I find myself wondering, Will people forget me? Will they move on with their lives and leave me behind? Will my friends, family, classmates, etc. even remember that I'm gone? And yet my fears of being forgotten by people on this earth are much less founded in reality than any fears I might have of being forgotten by God. The Holy God of the universe would have much more reason to "forget" me than any of my friends or family would, because I am a sinner--and yet He promises me, "You will not be forgotten by Me." How incredible! And again, He gives me the reason why: "I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud and your sins like a mist." I love the parallel structure here: God calls me to remember that God will always remember me because He has "forgotten" my sin through His redemption of me by His Son's death on the Cross!

The fourth and final passage speaks to another huge fear of mine: failure in the new things I will be called to face while in Hungary, or, in other words, the inability to surmount the new obstacles or situations that will be in my path. But again, I find that the LORD has a word for me in this: "I will go before you and level the exalted places, I will break in pieces the doors of bronze and cut down through the bars of iron." How amazing! My Good Shepherd has gone before me to Hungary already, and has already searched the path that I will walk and cleared it of any hazards or dangers as long as I keep my eyes steadfastly set on Him. All of those things that I fear not being able to do? He's leveled, broken, and cut those down. And why? "That you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name." I like to imagine that the name referred to here is the same name referenced in Revelation 2:17--"He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it." This isn't just any name that we will be given--this is the name that defines us as we were created to be, and as we will be if we let Christ make us so (a la C.S. Lewis, "We have only the slightest notion of the tremendous thing God means to make of us."). This is the name given us by the One who created us, loves us, formed us in our mothers' wombs, knows our hearts and thoughts, and has planned every step for us to take from this moment until we reach Him in eternity.

As you might have guessed, I was very encouraged and humbled to remember the care my Heavenly Father has for me. I hope if you find yourself discouraged or lonely or upset that you might look upon these verses and find the same hope and encouragement in them that I did. Oh, and just for your information, I decided to check a second bag, so the pillow is coming with me! :)