Feeding the Multitudes

On the Bible College website (http://ccbce.com/en/), the Internship tab states that the internship is "ministry 101." Boy, is that true.

I was walking around the castle grounds today, praying, and as I prayed, I felt overwhelmed with the needs and the tasks before me. I cried, "God, there are a multitude of needs to be met, and I am just one person!" In the moment this prayer crossed my mind, the Holy Spirit called to my mind the story of Mark 8--Jesus feeding the multitude.

When I got back to my desk in the intern office, I turned to the story in Mark 8, and the LORD comforted me with a few truths about ministry that are revealed in this story.

"In those days, the multitude being very great and having nothing to eat, Jesus called His disciples to Him and said to them, "I have compassion on the multitude, because they have now continued with Me three days and have nothing to eat. And if I send them away hungry to their own houses, they will faint on the way; for some of them have come from afar." Then His disciples answered Him, "How can one satisfy these people with bread here in the wilderness?" He asked them, "How many loaves do you have?" And they said, "Seven." So He commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground. And He took the seven loaves and gave thanks, broke them and gave them to His disciples to set before them; and they set them before the multitude. They also had a few small fish; and having blessed them, He said to set them also before them" [Mark 8:1-7]

Going in chronological order, the first thing I notice is the reality that there is a need. The multitude "was very great and [had] nothing to eat." And yet, it is a comfort to me that the first one to notice the needs is Jesus--He called His disciples to Him and pointed out the need to them. So often I find myself feeling alone in the burden of ministry needs. I feel like no one else notices these issues, let alone cares. Now, regardless of whether that is true, it is so encouraging to see that Jesus knows. He knows the needs faced by the people in every church in all the world, because He knows His sheep. He knows the shepherding that they require. So He calls those needs to our attention.

Notice, additionally, that this is all He does. When Jesus calls the disciples to Himself, He doesn't tell them that they need to do something about this need--He simply makes them aware of it. But the implication in the text is that having been made aware of the need, there is something that compels the ministers of Christ to act. The question remains, though, of HOW to address this huge huge need--and this is what the disciples acknowledge. They ask, "How can one satisfy these people with bread here in the wilderness?"

At this point, the disciples through Jesus' revelation know that there is a need (how funny that we can be blind to the needs of God's people so often! Praise God for the grace of opening our eyes to needs other than our own), and now they find themselves wondering how that need will be satisfied. Interestingly, the word used for "satisfy" here has the double meaning of "to feed with herbs, grass, hay, to fill, satisfy with food, fatten; of animals" or "to fill or satisfy men." The reminder again is that these are Christ's sheep--as Mark writes earlier in his gospel, "And Jesus, when He came out, saw a great multitude and was moved with compassion for them, for they were like sheep not having a shepherd" [6:34]. The disciples are concerned because the charge they have been given is great--too great, in fact, for them to achieve it. But the worth of the Person asking them to minister is also great, and they are compelled to do something.

So, in response to their dilemma, Christ asks them, "How many loaves do you have?" In essence, He says to them, "Take stock. What have you been given? What is yours to give? What gifts, talents, money, food, do you have?" And they reply honestly--they have seven loaves. Given the circumstances, what they have is clearly woefully inadequate. But thankfully Christ can take what is woefully inadequate and make it abundantly adequate in Himself.

"So He commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground. And He took the seven loaves and gave thanks, broke them and gave them to His disciples to set before them; and they set them before the multitude." Jesus, opening the disciples' eyes both to the needs around them and their utter inability to fulfill those needs, now acts. He commands the multitude to sit down, and then blesses the gifts, breaks them, and gives them back to the disciples to set before the multitude--and they do so. I can't help but think of 1 Samuel 12:16, "Now therefore, stand and see this great thing which the LORD will do before your eyes." I imagine that's where the disciples were at--Just wait, Jesus said, and let me show you how I will take that which I've given you, bless it, break it, and then give it back to you for the distribution to the multitude.

I'm not sure if this is a rule of Scriptures, but it does appear to at least happen often, that when God wants to use a man, He breaks him first. He breaks the believer of any self-sufficiency, any self-dependency, any self-confidence, even breaking the very gifts and talents He has given him. But then, when Christ gives a man and his gifts back to himself, so to speak, that man will find that he is now the man that he needs to be to do the work that the LORD has called him to do. But know that this breaking process is not a one time occurrence. Perhaps this is why the gospels record two examples of Christ feeding the multitude--and why in both instances, the same language of blessing, breaking, and handing the loaves and fish back to the disciples is used. Because it is not just a one time occurrence. It is every time, every moment in which we minister that we must surrender ourselves and our talents into our Lord's hands to be broken and made into His image.

Seeing these truths was such an encouragement to me and a much needed reminder that when I labor, I "strive according to His working which works in me mightily." I hope I always seek comfort in these truths when ministry seems overwhelming--because I know that it is His work, and therefore, He will make sure it is completed.

Learning to Follow His Lead

I'm weird about my birthday. Every year, I wait with anxious anticipation for weeks in advance for that day, that glorious day (March 3, in my case) to arrive. And every year, I am inevitably disappointed as the expectations I have fall short of reality.

So, this year, I wanted to do something different. I thought, "Well, if I don't have any expectations, then it can only go up from there!" So, as March 3 drew nearer, I tried to distract myself with anything and everything, trying to ignore that my birthday was coming up fast.

When I awoke this morning, I was feeling pretty good. I got up, took a shower, and got ready for the day. But as soon as I talked to the first person to come in the bathroom after me, I found I was still disappointed and sad. I really wanted to be acknowledged and affirmed and excited for my birthday, and wanted people to join with me in that.

As I struggled against feeling sad, I came into the intern office to do my devotions. Each day, I read three different devotionals--Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening; Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest; and L.B. Cowman's Streams in the Desert. God's sovereign hand was certainly moving in my heart as I read each of these devotionals in turn.

God's Spirit reminded me that whatever He had planned for my day, whether joy or sorrow, would be good, because it was His chosen plan for me, and He would be with me in it. He also reminded me that, regardless of the day of year, He is always with me and He is always to be the source of all my expectations [Psalm 62:5]. How important it is to always make the LORD and the LORD alone the source of my expectations! As I started to think about the things He was showing me, I realized these were goals He had for me for this next year. That today is the first day of many that I am to commit my life and all my expectations, hopes, dreams, fears, sorrows, trials to Him--to God I shall commit my cause, who does wonderful, marvelous things without number [Job 5:8-9]! In the same vein, He showed me how I need to fight and fight hard to keep my heart satisfied in Him, and not distracted by the things of this world or my own flesh or the devil. I read this morning in 2 Samuel about Shammah the son of Agee, one of David's mighty men. Of all the victories I'm sure that Shammah accomplished, this is the one the Holy Spirit chose to have written in His Word forever: "He stationed himself in the middle of the field, defended it, and killed the Philistines. So the LORD brought about a great victory" [2 Samuel 23:12]. Shammah, rather than shying away from difficult situations or trials, set himself squarely in the middle of the field to defend it and fight against the enemy. How often do I fall short of this standard! I generally fail to even guard myself and the truth of God properly, but to fight and destroy the enemy? That is impossible. And yet in my moment of doubt and weakness, I hear His truth--With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

He reminded me that I am to look to Him--to His riches and His glorious gifts--for my satisfaction and salvation; that He has better plans for my life, for my days, for my hours, for my minutes, than I could ever have. And He reminded me of my calling here--to feed His sheep. Whether in Hungary or elsewhere, my life's calling is to be poured out for His sheep--to see that they are fed and rested and taken care of. And as I pour myself out for His sheep, I can be certain that my Heavenly Father is taking care of this Little Lamb's needs.

And this morning, He gave me exactly what I needed--time in the Word and in prayer with friends, and a reminder that He is the one whose way is perfect, and who makes my way perfect [2 Samuel 22:31, 33]. Though it has so far been a different birthday than any other I've had, different is not always a bad thing, as I often assume it is. God Himself said, "Behold, I am doing a NEW thing; now it springs forth--do you not perceive it?" [Isaiah 43:18] No matter what curves are in the road, though, I can trust Him, and can always follow His leading, even if it's down a path that seems to be sad or lonely. For because my Heavenly Father sees and knows best, I am freed to embrace each new day as it comes, knowing that it is exactly what my Father has gifted to me for that day.