Feeding the Multitudes

On the Bible College website (http://ccbce.com/en/), the Internship tab states that the internship is "ministry 101." Boy, is that true.

I was walking around the castle grounds today, praying, and as I prayed, I felt overwhelmed with the needs and the tasks before me. I cried, "God, there are a multitude of needs to be met, and I am just one person!" In the moment this prayer crossed my mind, the Holy Spirit called to my mind the story of Mark 8--Jesus feeding the multitude.

When I got back to my desk in the intern office, I turned to the story in Mark 8, and the LORD comforted me with a few truths about ministry that are revealed in this story.

"In those days, the multitude being very great and having nothing to eat, Jesus called His disciples to Him and said to them, "I have compassion on the multitude, because they have now continued with Me three days and have nothing to eat. And if I send them away hungry to their own houses, they will faint on the way; for some of them have come from afar." Then His disciples answered Him, "How can one satisfy these people with bread here in the wilderness?" He asked them, "How many loaves do you have?" And they said, "Seven." So He commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground. And He took the seven loaves and gave thanks, broke them and gave them to His disciples to set before them; and they set them before the multitude. They also had a few small fish; and having blessed them, He said to set them also before them" [Mark 8:1-7]

Going in chronological order, the first thing I notice is the reality that there is a need. The multitude "was very great and [had] nothing to eat." And yet, it is a comfort to me that the first one to notice the needs is Jesus--He called His disciples to Him and pointed out the need to them. So often I find myself feeling alone in the burden of ministry needs. I feel like no one else notices these issues, let alone cares. Now, regardless of whether that is true, it is so encouraging to see that Jesus knows. He knows the needs faced by the people in every church in all the world, because He knows His sheep. He knows the shepherding that they require. So He calls those needs to our attention.

Notice, additionally, that this is all He does. When Jesus calls the disciples to Himself, He doesn't tell them that they need to do something about this need--He simply makes them aware of it. But the implication in the text is that having been made aware of the need, there is something that compels the ministers of Christ to act. The question remains, though, of HOW to address this huge huge need--and this is what the disciples acknowledge. They ask, "How can one satisfy these people with bread here in the wilderness?"

At this point, the disciples through Jesus' revelation know that there is a need (how funny that we can be blind to the needs of God's people so often! Praise God for the grace of opening our eyes to needs other than our own), and now they find themselves wondering how that need will be satisfied. Interestingly, the word used for "satisfy" here has the double meaning of "to feed with herbs, grass, hay, to fill, satisfy with food, fatten; of animals" or "to fill or satisfy men." The reminder again is that these are Christ's sheep--as Mark writes earlier in his gospel, "And Jesus, when He came out, saw a great multitude and was moved with compassion for them, for they were like sheep not having a shepherd" [6:34]. The disciples are concerned because the charge they have been given is great--too great, in fact, for them to achieve it. But the worth of the Person asking them to minister is also great, and they are compelled to do something.

So, in response to their dilemma, Christ asks them, "How many loaves do you have?" In essence, He says to them, "Take stock. What have you been given? What is yours to give? What gifts, talents, money, food, do you have?" And they reply honestly--they have seven loaves. Given the circumstances, what they have is clearly woefully inadequate. But thankfully Christ can take what is woefully inadequate and make it abundantly adequate in Himself.

"So He commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground. And He took the seven loaves and gave thanks, broke them and gave them to His disciples to set before them; and they set them before the multitude." Jesus, opening the disciples' eyes both to the needs around them and their utter inability to fulfill those needs, now acts. He commands the multitude to sit down, and then blesses the gifts, breaks them, and gives them back to the disciples to set before the multitude--and they do so. I can't help but think of 1 Samuel 12:16, "Now therefore, stand and see this great thing which the LORD will do before your eyes." I imagine that's where the disciples were at--Just wait, Jesus said, and let me show you how I will take that which I've given you, bless it, break it, and then give it back to you for the distribution to the multitude.

I'm not sure if this is a rule of Scriptures, but it does appear to at least happen often, that when God wants to use a man, He breaks him first. He breaks the believer of any self-sufficiency, any self-dependency, any self-confidence, even breaking the very gifts and talents He has given him. But then, when Christ gives a man and his gifts back to himself, so to speak, that man will find that he is now the man that he needs to be to do the work that the LORD has called him to do. But know that this breaking process is not a one time occurrence. Perhaps this is why the gospels record two examples of Christ feeding the multitude--and why in both instances, the same language of blessing, breaking, and handing the loaves and fish back to the disciples is used. Because it is not just a one time occurrence. It is every time, every moment in which we minister that we must surrender ourselves and our talents into our Lord's hands to be broken and made into His image.

Seeing these truths was such an encouragement to me and a much needed reminder that when I labor, I "strive according to His working which works in me mightily." I hope I always seek comfort in these truths when ministry seems overwhelming--because I know that it is His work, and therefore, He will make sure it is completed.

Learning to Follow His Lead

I'm weird about my birthday. Every year, I wait with anxious anticipation for weeks in advance for that day, that glorious day (March 3, in my case) to arrive. And every year, I am inevitably disappointed as the expectations I have fall short of reality.

So, this year, I wanted to do something different. I thought, "Well, if I don't have any expectations, then it can only go up from there!" So, as March 3 drew nearer, I tried to distract myself with anything and everything, trying to ignore that my birthday was coming up fast.

When I awoke this morning, I was feeling pretty good. I got up, took a shower, and got ready for the day. But as soon as I talked to the first person to come in the bathroom after me, I found I was still disappointed and sad. I really wanted to be acknowledged and affirmed and excited for my birthday, and wanted people to join with me in that.

As I struggled against feeling sad, I came into the intern office to do my devotions. Each day, I read three different devotionals--Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening; Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest; and L.B. Cowman's Streams in the Desert. God's sovereign hand was certainly moving in my heart as I read each of these devotionals in turn.

God's Spirit reminded me that whatever He had planned for my day, whether joy or sorrow, would be good, because it was His chosen plan for me, and He would be with me in it. He also reminded me that, regardless of the day of year, He is always with me and He is always to be the source of all my expectations [Psalm 62:5]. How important it is to always make the LORD and the LORD alone the source of my expectations! As I started to think about the things He was showing me, I realized these were goals He had for me for this next year. That today is the first day of many that I am to commit my life and all my expectations, hopes, dreams, fears, sorrows, trials to Him--to God I shall commit my cause, who does wonderful, marvelous things without number [Job 5:8-9]! In the same vein, He showed me how I need to fight and fight hard to keep my heart satisfied in Him, and not distracted by the things of this world or my own flesh or the devil. I read this morning in 2 Samuel about Shammah the son of Agee, one of David's mighty men. Of all the victories I'm sure that Shammah accomplished, this is the one the Holy Spirit chose to have written in His Word forever: "He stationed himself in the middle of the field, defended it, and killed the Philistines. So the LORD brought about a great victory" [2 Samuel 23:12]. Shammah, rather than shying away from difficult situations or trials, set himself squarely in the middle of the field to defend it and fight against the enemy. How often do I fall short of this standard! I generally fail to even guard myself and the truth of God properly, but to fight and destroy the enemy? That is impossible. And yet in my moment of doubt and weakness, I hear His truth--With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

He reminded me that I am to look to Him--to His riches and His glorious gifts--for my satisfaction and salvation; that He has better plans for my life, for my days, for my hours, for my minutes, than I could ever have. And He reminded me of my calling here--to feed His sheep. Whether in Hungary or elsewhere, my life's calling is to be poured out for His sheep--to see that they are fed and rested and taken care of. And as I pour myself out for His sheep, I can be certain that my Heavenly Father is taking care of this Little Lamb's needs.

And this morning, He gave me exactly what I needed--time in the Word and in prayer with friends, and a reminder that He is the one whose way is perfect, and who makes my way perfect [2 Samuel 22:31, 33]. Though it has so far been a different birthday than any other I've had, different is not always a bad thing, as I often assume it is. God Himself said, "Behold, I am doing a NEW thing; now it springs forth--do you not perceive it?" [Isaiah 43:18] No matter what curves are in the road, though, I can trust Him, and can always follow His leading, even if it's down a path that seems to be sad or lonely. For because my Heavenly Father sees and knows best, I am freed to embrace each new day as it comes, knowing that it is exactly what my Father has gifted to me for that day.

C.S. Lewis' "The Weight of Glory"

"In speaking of this desire for our own far-off country, which we find in ourselves even now, I feel a certain shyness. I am almost committing an indecency. I am trying to rip open the inconsolable secret in each one of you--the secret that hurts so much that you take your revenge on it by calling it names like Nostalgia and Romanticism and Adolescence; the secret also which pierces with such sweetness that when, in very intimate conversation, the mention of it becomes imminent, we grow awkward and affect to laugh at ourselves; the secret we cannot hide and we cannot tell, though we desire to do both. We cannot tell it because it is a desire for something that has never actually appeared in our experience. We cannot hide it because our experience is constantly suggesting it, and we betray ourselves like lovers at the mention of a name. Our commonest expedient is to call it beauty and behave as if that had settled the matter. Wordsworth's expedient was to identify it with certain moments in his own past. But all this is a cheat. If Wordsworth had gone back to those moments in the past, he would not have found the thing itself, but only the reminder of it; what he remembered would turn out to be itself a remembering. The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things--the beauty, the memory of our own past--are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself, they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited..."



As I was trying to fall asleep tonight, I found myself thinking about this passage in C.S. Lewis' "The Weight of Glory." My memory was sparked upon the recognition that part of the reason I love drinking coffee is because I watch a lot of TV shows in which the characters love drinking coffee. Beside the facts that coffee has caffeine, that I more or less grew up on coffee, and that I really do love the taste, a large part of the appeal for me is that it makes me feel like I'm a part of something special. When, on TV shows like Friends, Gilmore Girls, or Samantha Who, the characters have a coffee shop that they frequent or a coffee addiction that they feed, I find within myself a desire to be in that coffee shop with them, talking about my life over a cup of joe. Laying in my bed and mulling over this revelation, I remembered the above C.S. Lewis excerpt.



Though it may sound silly, I think my love of drinking coffee and my recognition that a large part of that obsession stems from seeing it on TV parallels what Lewis talks about in regards to humanity's desire and deep, deep longing for Paradise, for Heaven, and ultimately for God. In fact, my very desire for coffee and my association of drinking coffee with feeling special or feeling complete in some way might in and of itself be a hint of the unity, the satisfaction, and the love that we all seek and which ultimately can only be found in God through the blood of Christ.



But even if it is only ultimately found in God, He has been gracious enough to give us hints of satisfaction and love and completion on earth. In everything from the beauty of the natural world to the institution of marriage; from a really delicious burrito to a really fantastic work of literature, God is at work. The pleasure that we derive from these experiences is a bit of the joy and satisfaction of God. Not to say "God is in the burrito"--but the joy or satisfaction or contentment that you get as a result of eating that burrito is a reflection (and a poor one, at that) of the joy or satisfaction or contentment that comes from a relationship with God.



This is why the Psalmist writes, "O taste and see that the LORD is good!" Or why Paul writes "In everything, whether you eat or drink, do all to the glory of God." Because everything in our lives--everything thing we taste, everything we see, even everything we eat and drink--is all meant to point us back to the loving God who is Himself exquisite, satisfying, fulfilling. Christ Himself speaks of salvation and eternal life as "a fountain of water welling up into eternal life"; those who drink of this water "shall never thirst."



Salvation is an experience, a day to day, in and out, experience with the living God of the universe. It is not a moment in a church with your eyes closed lifting up your hand at the altar call, though that may be its beginning. It is life--it is physical, tangible, even tantalizing. The more we have of it, the more we have of the goodness, the sweetness, the lovingkindnesses of the LORD, the more we want. This world, as C.S. Lewis shows, is all one big, delicious treat, meant to bring about the longing for God's goodness that we were all created to need. We need His goodness, we need His mercy to follow us all the days of our lives. And the more we see it and savor it, the more we'll want it--the more we'll want Him.



So go ahead--enjoy your cup of coffee. But remember that the best part of waking up is not Folger's in your cup--it's Jesus Christ in your heart :)

Mommy and Me

My mom and I have always been very similar. We look alike, we think alike, we act alike. We are the slightly-less-rational and very passionately emotional ones in the family. Since I can remember, I’ve always been told I look like my mom and remind people of my mom. As I’ve grown up, I’ve seen things for myself that remind me of my mom. Some of these traits are positive, some of them are negative.
As many of you know, I recently discovered something else I have in common with my mom—hip dysplasia. This definitely falls in the “negative” trait category. However, over the last two weeks, I’ve come to value more than ever my relationship with my mother.
For better or for worse, my mother is always there for me. I never realized how selfish I was growing up. How much I just wanted her to help me or to be there for me or to encourage me. Of course, she was happy to do so. But I finally realized how much I value that over these last few weeks.
Over the last two weeks, I’ve gotten to know my mother. I heard her testimony of becoming a believer for the first time. I heard of her experiences with her hip surgeries. All of these things I never even thought to ask her before.
Tonight as she was helping me get ready for bed, as she has every night since my surgery, I asked her if she ever regretted having surgery—if she ever thought she should have just gotten a wheelchair and been done with it. She told me no. She told me she loved to walk, even though it was hard. She told me how after her first surgeries, she had been told she couldn’t play any sports. She played soccer and racquetball anyways. Then my dad came along, and after she had blown out her hips a few times, he was finally able to convince her to stop. To stop playing the sports that she loved. Then, she had my sister Shannon. She had to have her hip replaced again after that. Then she had myself and my brother, and went to nursing school, and worked in a hospital for two years. She had to get her hips replaced again after that. Two years ago, her and I were at the mall and she fell. She was in so much pain, I remember. But she told me tonight that she was partially so upset because she had fallen on her left hip, her hip with the one of a kind prosthetic, and she knew she couldn’t have that one replaced, and that if it was blown, she would lose whatever mobility she had.
When she finished her story, she told me not to worry—that her fate wouldn’t be my fate. But I said in a low voice, I don’t care about myself anymore. Slightly alarmed, she asked me, What do you mean? And I told her, I just asked because I wanted to know about you. I wanted to learn more about your past, not predict my future.
God has used this surgery to remind me what a wonderful woman my mother is. I’ve gone through a fraction—1/13, to be exact—of what she’s gone through. And what she went through, she went through for others. She got new hips so that she could bear children. She got new hips so that she could work as a nurse to help other people, people she didn’t even know. She did it to support her family, send her kids to college, help put food on the table. She is a hero, even though she doesn’t necessarily believe it.
I’ve had a lot of time to think as I’ve been laying here the last two weeks. A lot of time. And one of the things I’ve been thinking about is my future. Like any nearly graduated college student, I’ve been getting the “What are you doing after graudation?” question a lot. As I think about my future, I’ve realized how difficult it will be to leave my family. And I do believe God is calling me, at least for a time, to the mission field. Jesus said, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.” I’ve realized these last two weeks that it’s hard for me to trust God with my mother. I care so much about her, and I know her so well. It’s hard for me to trust that anyone else can look after her as I can. But God has been showing me just how much He has been looking after her all along. And He has given me an example of the kind of woman He wants me to be—but I can only be that woman if I trust the LORD in all areas of my life as my mother has trusted Him in all areas of hers. She has selflessly given of herself for years, trusting God to provide for her and her body, her physical strength. And if she can trust God to provide for her, then I can, too. Because the best way to honor my mother’s life is to live mine the way she has lived hers—poured out in love in service for others.

Bow Your Knees

Today… is a new day. As I sit here in a coffee shop, my heart burns to know my Father more, to see something new in Him. Or, rather, to be able to express what it is He has been doing in my soul. So many things have brought encouragement to my heart over the last few days, not the least of which have been His Word and fellowship with believers. It always seems like a wasted opportunity when God works in my heart and I feel like I am unable to express what exactly it is He has been doing. The past few days have been calm in the midst of a storm. They have been reassuring, though so many situations and circumstances have been overwhelming. I wonder why it is that I can’t just say, I’m doing great! when people ask me how I’m doing. My mind is still stuck in the worldly way of thinking—thinking that the circumstances of the flesh hold more weight than those of the spirit. I remember talking about this with my roommate Laura last semester at Bible college—about this—dare I say need—humans feel to give the greater priority to the flesh. And I guess that makes sense—the Bible says just as much, after all. Romans alone addresses the topic of flesh versus spirit in great depth. And yet, my soul yearns. My soul yearns to be heard first, to be addressed first and treated as the more important element it is. Not to say that the flesh isn’t important; but rather, that we must first listen to the desires of our (redeemed) souls before we can listen to those of the body. That, in fact, the soul must be the means by which we address the flesh, and not the other way around. Maybe that is why this verse in Ephesians 3 has been rocking my world lately. Paul writes, “For this reason I bow my knees to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Syntactically (grammatically?) speaking, the “for this reason” could refer to either what Paul has just written or what he is about to write. But either way, I think the Christian today can take that text and apply it to his or her life. What is your reason? In light of what do you need to bow your knees to God? Is it a relationship in which you’re struggling to love? Is it a class that you’re trying to pass, or a test that you feel hopeless studying for? Is it bitterness and hurt from your past that still haunts you today? Is it anxiety and/or uncertainty about the future? For this reason—because of the very thing that is weighing you down—you are called to bow your knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. If our flesh were to react first, we would do anything but stop and bow our knees—we would be busy trying to love, trying to help, trying to fix the problems that we are in. But we live not according to the flesh, but according to the spirit. And the Holy Spirit says to us, “I see what you are going through. I see what you are struggling in. But I care for you. You can come to Me and I will give you rest from Your burdens. I see that you think your life is spiraling out of control. But, in reality, I know the plans I have for you, and these circumstances are not outside of them, for I am working all things together for Your good.” As Oswald Chambers wrote, “Paul says that [the love of God] is the reason we are more than conquerors in all these things [i.e. trials], super-victors, with a joy we would not have but for the very things which look as if they are going to overwhelm us.” What a way to look at it! The flesh sees the waves of trial bearing down on it, and despairs. But the soul—the soul sees the waves as a springboard by which to get nearer to the Father. I can’t explain how it works, other than to use the image employed by Oswald Chambers. It is the difference between an individual in the waves of an ocean with and without a board. Those without the board, without a firm surface to stand upon, will sink underneath the load of the wave. But those with the board, with a firm surface to stand upon, will rise above the wave, and rather than it being a burden, that wave will become a catalyst for exhilaration. In the same way, the Word of God and its promises through the blood of Christ to the believer becomes a board upon which we can stand during the waves of trial. Somehow, the Word transforms our experiences from natural into supernatural ones, and changes the results from disastrous to uplifting, from destructive to life-building. It still amazes me, that the very same situation can be so different depending on what you’re standing on. But Jesus changes everything without changing anything, as Jeff Stewart said. I think I’m finally understanding how it is we can rejoice in our sufferings. It seems so contrary to nature, and I suppose that is because it is contrary to nature—to human, fleshly nature at least. But what is most contrary to the flesh is exactly what we should seek in the Spirit. My mind still doesn’t want to wrap around the concept, but that is why it is according to faith ☺ This isn’t something that can be understood by the logic of the human mind—it must be seen and accepted and believed according to spiritual eyes. I pray that if you are in the midst of trial or suffering, that God would open the eyes of your spiritual understanding to see that His grip on you is tighter and stronger than the hold of any other circumstance, and that He will never let you fall. He does not grow weary or faint, and it in the very circumstances that weary and tire you that He meets you and lifts you up on wings as eagles. Praise God for His all-sufficient, all-encompassing grace!

Weakness

Today, I had one of those conversations with a friend where suddenly your life becomes clear and you understand some of the things that had been completely confusing you for weeks. Since getting home from Hungary, I’ve found that I feel so crippled and fearful all of the time. In everything I do, an overwhelming sense of fear grips my heart to the point where it is almost impossible to do anything. Even things as simple as going to class or going to church seem too overwhelming. I had attributed this mostly to readjusting to life in America—something I still think is a crucial factor—but I had a revelation on an even deeper spiritual level today.
The verse that I’ve been holding onto during this last month and a half has been 2 Corinthians 12:9—“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in your weakness.’” This verse was relevant because I learned so much about the grace of God while I was in Hungary, and I knew that His grace was sufficient. However, what struck me today about this verse was that we experience His grace in two ways—in His power and in our weakness. I have never experienced the grace of God as displayed in His power so radically as I did when I was in Hungary. Now, I feel I am experiencing the grace of God radically in my weakness. Right now, I’m not feeling any of God’s power—I’m feeling all of my weakness. I feel my weakness in my debilitating fear, fear that keeps me from going to group functions or even from wanting to talk to people. I feel my weakness in the broken-heartedness of missing Hungary and everyone there. I feel my weakness in the exhaustion I feel. I feel my weakness in my body, physically—in hips that are degenerating before their time. I feel my weakness in my relationship with the LORD in that I recognize I have nothing to offer Him. I am empty, and I desperately need to be filled just to wake up every morning. I feel my weakness in my silence—in not having words to speak, in not knowing what to say. I feel my weakness in school, in the Love Out Loud campaign, in my Bible study, in my church college group, in my relationships. I see and feel weakness everywhere.
I think this must be a small taste of what Job experienced. The sudden plunge from riches to poverty. In my case, however, it is mostly the plunge from spiritual riches to spiritual poverty. And yet, spiritual poverty is a deeper, and in some ways realer, richness than just experiencing His power. I have seen God move in deeper, more intimate ways than I ever saw Him move before, because I deeply feel my need for Him to move. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so weak before. Each day, however, God sustains me. He is with me in the storm. He is stripping away things from me that I didn’t even know I had. The fight is to let Him do that. Every time fear rises in my heart before going to a group event, I just have to say to myself that God will get me through. I am learning how to rely on Him for literally everything, because there is nothing that I feel capable of doing anymore.
And though it has possibly been one of the hardest months and a half of my life, I wouldn’t have it any other way, because I want the full experience of God’s grace in my life. And I love learning to rely on Him for everything, for seeing myself as I truly am and learning day in and day out that I can utterly rely on God. There is an intimacy that we are establishing where my heart rushes to Him for everything because that is all I can do. I am experiencing His presence and His love in a deeper way than ever before, because He is all I have. And that is more than enough.

Yet Believing, You Rejoice

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen, you love. Though you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.”

I’m not going to lie. The last few weeks have been really difficult for me. My heart was torn in two almost five weeks ago now as I left Hungary to head back to America. I’ve been trying to figure it all out—trying to grasp what work the LORD did in me while I was gone and what that means for my life now. I’ve probably started to write two or three blog posts, but to no avail. The last week and a half has been particularly hard. Every day, this weight of grief pressed down on my chest, making it hard to breathe sometimes, and always painfully reminding me that I am separated from the country and the people that I love so much. The LORD so radically changed my relationship with Him when I was in Hungary that it is impossible for me to come to the LORD without reminder of the things He taught me there. Those truths were so pivotal and foundational in my understanding of the LORD that they have completely altered the way that I view Him and my relationship with Him. As silly as it may sound, it became particularly difficult to be in the Word and in prayer over the last week and a half because of the very fact that everything about my relationship with the LORD reminds me of Hungary.
Finally, last night at my church college group, I felt the Spirit prompting—no, demanding would probably be a better word—that I spend time with Him. I couldn’t keep ignoring Him, even if spending time with Him made me miss Hungary even more. Because, the truth was, I missed HIM. So, after we worshipped together as a group, I left to spend some time with the LORD on my own. After a kind of strenuous first hour, where I just kept asking questions and searching the Word seemingly to no avail, I came to the conclusion that though God might not answer my questions now or ever, it was okay; because I had Him, and that would be enough. But right after I wrote those words in my journal, I caught a part of the message that was going on in the main sanctuary: “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” It struck me to the core—I knew that I needed to just humble myself before the LORD. So much fear and doubt had been keeping me from being vulnerable before the LORD and here He was asking me to cast all my cares upon Him, for He cares for me. So I did. At first it was a little halting as I tried to figure out what exactly I wanted to say, but then my words started to flow—along with my tears. Things I hadn’t even known were “cares” of mine came up from out of my soul; I had many more cares than I realized I had.
I was content enough to give to the LORD my burdens and just to be able to feel something toward Him again. I was grateful enough to know that He loved me and listening and “put my tears in a bottle.” But the LORD didn’t just take my burden; He replaced it with His grace. At this point, I came across the passage at the beginning of this blog (1 Peter 1:6-9). One of the things that I had missed the most about Hungary was the joy inexpressible that the LORD offers. I felt I had lost that joy, that love, that peace that I had so richly in Hungary. So I came back to this passage, and read it again. But this time, a certain part stuck out to me—that this joy is in the midst of trial. Peter is instructing the LORD’s people to rejoice with “joy inexpressible and full of glory” when they are enduring various trials. How is that possible?
The LORD laid these words on my heart, as He showed me the answer—“yet believing, you rejoice.” I found myself wondering, “Believing what?” and, oh the richness of the truths there are to believe in Christ! “For all the promises of God in Christ are ‘Yes.’” [2 Corinthians 3:20]

Believe that He loves you. Believe that all things work together for good to those who love Him. Believe that He is faithful. Believe that it is His good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Believe that he whom the Son sets free will be free, indeed. Believe that there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Believe that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Believe that He will never leave you nor forsake you. Believe that you have not received a spirit of bondage again to fear, but a Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Believe that He cares for you. Believe that the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of His own. Believe that if you ask you shall receive if you seek you shall find if you knock the door shall be opened to you. Believe that when you fall you will arise. Believe that when you sit in darkness, the LORD will be a light to you. Believe that He knows the plans He has for you. Believe that if you delight yourself in Him, He shall give you the desires of your heart. Believe that Christ became sin who knew no sin that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. Believe that while you were still a sinner, Christ died for you. Believe that you have been freed from sin and death. Believe that His Word accomplishes that which He purposes for it. Believe that you are a new creature in Christ. Believe that His grace is sufficient. Believe that His strength is made perfect in your weakness. Believe that He comes to those who are lowly and contrite. Believe that He is doing a new thing. Believe that though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be a white as snow. Believe that though weeping may endure for a night, joy comes in the morning. Believe that the sufferings of the present time are not worth comparing with that which shall be revealed in us. Believe that those whom He foreknew He predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son. Believe that He who began a good work in you will complete it in the day of Christ Jesus. Believe that He is KING of KINGS and LORD of LORDS and that He died that you might have eternal life—

BELIEVE AND REJOICE!